Friday Frozen

I nice snow yesterday. Nothing too exciting, but it is nice to have snow from time to time -- as long as it goes away quickly. Dragoon had 2-3 inches on the ground when I went through there yesterday to run some errands.

Tuesday and Weirdness

While traveling to visit us over Christmas, my wife's father died. They're not sure if it was the accident, or if maybe he had a stroke or heart attack while driving. My wife's mother is unharmed except for a cracked rib.

I have a different perspective on death than most, so it's easier for me to take it. I've also gone through the "death" of my own parents, so this also makes it easier for me to deal with. Regardless, hearing about the death of someone you know and someone you've interacted with is a weird feeling. There's an emptiness that will never be filled because the physical experience of that being can no longer take place. All one can do is deal with the emptiness and move forward. Eventually the emptiness gets put away in a sacred place in our consciousness and there it stays until we, too, depart.

Here now and without permission, is Ram Dass' letter to the grieving parents of a child that was brutally murdered:

Dear Steve and Anita,

Rachel finished her work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation.

I can't assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is Rachel's legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.

Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, and thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience.

In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why this had to be the way it was.

Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts -- if we can keep them open to God -- will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on earth, which includes her manner of death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space. In that deep love, include me.

In love,

Ram Dass

This, to me, is the way that I cope with such things. It's very much in tune with my attitude of "riding the wave."

Take care, Alan. I'll see you when I get there.

Thursday Solstice

Winter begins at 5:22pm local time.

Along with the fact that it's the coldest morning sofar (13.1°F!!!!), here is the beautiful Solstice sunrise:

I've been reading about the "Community Plan" that was created for this area back in 1999. Just to flex their muscles, they organized a protest against a bunch of monks who wanted to build a church up on top of a hill. Now I agree that the monks don't necessarily need to build a church in beautiful place like what they were planning, but it bothers me to know that these so-called planners were able to effect the outcome in such a big way.

This is the part that bothered me the most:

"We owe it to the community of Sunsites to take into consideration the plan they worked on," said Dan Coxworth, a Cochise County planner.

You've got to be kidding, Mr. Coxworth. How does the Stronghold fall into the jurisdiction of "the plan"?

Wednesday Snow

It snowed last night:




This is just about as much as I want as I walk out my front door. I also want it gone by noon, which it was.

...

The county that I'm in is, at the moment, pretty rural. There are five "major" cities -- the largest having a 2000 population of 37,775. In total, the 2000 population of the county was 117,775. The population not counting our five "major" cities was 51,134. This last number yields a persons-per-square-mile value of 8.298, or 77.212 acres for every person.

I can stop along Hwy 191 while "walking" my dog (me on bike) and wait several minutes before I see a car, truck, or 18-wheeler whizz by at 65 mph. Some people wave and sometimes I wave back if I realize it in the fraction of a second I have to see them. The dog likes to watch the cars whizz by.

My point is that it's pretty quiet out here where I am. It's also fairly unpopulated. There's a housing development (if you want to call it that) about a mile from my place. There's also a couple of towns about 5 miles away. But these are unseed and unheard from my vantage point.

What should I do to ensure that it stays this way?

Sunday thru Tuesday List

Vesta Tiga Erebus Lucy Gizmo Gypsie Sheila

Sparky Magic Neurotica Lackie

Apollo Nimeau Hecate Kronos Salem McCavity Muad'Dieb Tyche Penny Core Tabatha Tiger Tater Pricilla Agamemnon Puffy Phobos Deimos Hermes Spike Zenith Sagitta HeyJoe Phoebe OM Sillikat Isis Wayfy Artemus Anubus Jabba -- I probably missed a few.

Friday is Phrantic

.... well, not really. I despise frantic. If there's frantic, then there's something wrong.

In truth, I'd rather have this:

These three loaves cost approx 25 cents in material cost and another 30 minutes of electricity to make the oven hot. Makes the house smell nice, tastes nice, looks nice. And, most importantly, nothing frantic.

And afterwards, I feel like this:

Monday Is My Kind of Day

With two RAC jobs (small) and a third on it's way (pretty big), I'm rolling in excitement, anxiety, and cash. Plus, I'm programming again! Very satisfying.

Could I make a living from RAC? Possible. For now, it's a little bit of fun and a little bit of heat to warm up my butt.

Other ORDER things are coming along ok, but RAC is a huge distraction. Gotta keep focused and my eyes on the prize.

Saturday is for Music

Here is my current CD collection -- very artsy fartsy:



I count 166 CDs. There's a few more to go up, but I need to decide where to put them.

And now ... me:

Thursday and Upward

Well, I've decided to really take the plunge and get back into cool programming in a serious way. For a few years now, I've been slowly moving away from programming, even though my job still is suppose to be nearly 100% that (it hasn't been).

Anyohw, I'm getting back into it, and it's a good choice at this time.

Wednesday SideShow

It was all too easy to get myself onto the Army base today. I had a legitimate reason for being there, but all the way home I thought about how easy it was.

All I had to do was to sound like I had a reason for being there (which I did) , tell them that someone (whom I named) was waiting for me, present my driver's license, present my vehicle registration, and present my proof of vehicle insurance. They even asked me what kind of a pass I wanted (one can get single day, week, and month as far as I know). Then I got my perty green pass to put on the dashboard of my car. They didn't ask me my specific destination, nor did they note who I was suppose to meet. They didn't write anything down except my last name, vehicle license number, and today's date on the cute little green pass. Did they even count me somehow? Hmmm...maybe they've got cameras for that. Not exactly sure.

When I got to my destination on the base, I had to wait in the lobby where I was out of site of the security officer. I could have easily slipped into the building without being noticed for quite a while.

Pretty fucking easy.

Oh yeah one more thing -- don't forget to read the ISG report that came out today:

http://www.usip.org/isg/iraq_study_group_report/report/1206/index.html

Monday and Moving Forward

Re-integration is going well:






One down, five to go!


That floor, BTW, needs to be vacuumed!

Sunday -- Hello December

December came in with a whoosh -- or was that November went out with a whoosh? Ah well. In any case, it's early December 2006 and this date will never happen again.

The Sandhill Cranes are here:



Ain't that just cool?

Low 30's this morning. No big deal. Back to normal pretty much.

Oh, and more birdseed:

And some fun with the mess:

Thursday and it's COLD

Coldest morning sofar. 15.6°F. It's nice to look forward to such temperatures for so long and finally reach them. I enjoy experiencing the edge of things. This is likely to be as cold as it gets here.

Here's the cold morning sunrise, and check out that metallic blue sky:



A real bummer I can't claim to be in an island of Zone 9a like I was hoping, but 15.6°F breaks that dream. I'm now officially Zone 8b, and likely to be Zone 8a.

One of our water pipes broke this morning. The main cause was the old, rusted pipe. But the cold pushed it over the edge for sure. Spent $10 getting it fixed. A compression fitting (PVC), two short pipes, a 90° elbow, and some tape. All done and perty again.

Dog walk this morning was done with it was about 32°F and a little wind. We both loved it.

Wednesday has Insanity All Around

I'm convinced that creating an island of sanity, peace, love, and 100% sustainability is the work I will do for the next 5-10 years.

Living The Good Life
Small Is Beautiful

Awesome wind today. Never happened yesterday, but a nice surprize today:

Tuesday is Windy

Predictions are that we're in for a windy day today. It's 10:41am and yep, the wind is a-blowin'.

Regardless, here's what sunrise looked like today:

Monday and Climbing

A great change in the weather.

Cooler.

The wind blows with a great sucking sound. Nice to finally greet winter.

Howdy!

Time to build the fire and put radishes in the ground.

Finally took the time to fix the digital camera that my feline co-ordinator pushed onto the floor and smashed a few weeks ago. Very very nice to have it back. The photo to the right was taken on the morning of Haloween 2006.

Wednesday is Bright

Except for a small fall this morning, today is looking bright.

The word is: autonomous.

"Functioning independently of other components or systems; self-governing or self-controlling; possessing virtually complete closure in normal operation."

Yep -- that'll do it.

So I now have a rock in my hands with what appear to be precious gems inside. I need to extract those gems, examine then and determine their potential value, and then polish.

Tuesday for Iran

Read Seymoure Hersh's new article in The New Yorker and keep your eyes peeled and your ears open.

http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/061127fa_fact

Monday: Public vs Private

I have a private journal which is hand-written in a spiral notebook and then I have this public journal.

Two sides of the same coin? Alter-egos? Two different personas?

All of the above.

I Mark Meanings is who I've chosen to be, instead of what was chosen for me by idiots who never knew Me. The private journal is a mish-mash of me & Me, with Me struggling to get out. The public journal is hopefully Me.

Food. Not enough food around here. Need to grow some more. Clean up, aerate, plant, water, grow, harvest, eat, put it back and start again.

Standing in the middle of nowhere, Wondering how to begin. Lost between tomorrow and yesterday, Between now and then. And now we're back where we started, Here we go round again. Day after day I get up and I say I better do it again. Where are all the people going? Round and round till we reach the end. One day leading to another, Get up, go out, do it again. Then it's back where you started, Here we go round again. Back where you started, Come on do it again. And you think today is going to be better, Change the world and do it again. Give it all up and start all over, You say you will but you don't know when. Then it's back where you started, Here we go round again. Day after day I get up and I say Come on do it again. The days go by and you wish you were a different guy, Different friends and a new set of clothes. You make alterations and affect a new pose, A new house, a new car, a new job, a new nose. But it's superficial and it's only skin deep, Because the voices in your head keep shouting in your sleep. Get back, get back. Back where you started, here we go round again, Back where you started, come on do it again. Back where you started, here we go round again, Day after day I get up and I say, do it again. Do it again. Day after day I get up and I say, come on do it again.

Ah -- solar energy.

Watched most of 'Full Metal Jacket' last night. An emotionally strong film, which is why I like it so much. No bullshit. No 'maybe'. Kubrick is the best movie director/producer that ever lived.

Friday Fry-day

Get a bunch of green and burn, eat, toss it quickly. That's the mode I'm in. Get some good stuff that way, but most of it gets thrown away.

Gotta be a better way....

Wednesday Wesned-day

Negative activity. I continue to move backwards scraping the muck from my shoes.

Dogs. Cats. Birds. Humans. Welcome to the world, you ignorant idiot.

now whip it. into shape. shape it up. get straight. go forward. move ahead. try to detect it. it's not too late. to whip it. whip it good.

Tuesday Bluesday

Well, I've been on this planet approximately 1,199,188,800 seconds and the earth has spun almost 14,000 times.

Sure as hell not much to show for it. A scared, unmotivated, pre-programmed idiot.

I figure I've got another 1,577,880,000 seconds and some 18,000 more spins. So the question is: what am I going to do with all of those?

Contemplate large numbers and try not to get dizzy? I hope that's not all.

Monday, Monday

Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.
Monday Monday, can't trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday, how yould cou leave and not take me.
Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time
Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.
Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time
Monday Monday, ...


Thievery. Thanks mama and papa.

I've noticed that those who've been screaming "election fraud" have been incredibly silent these past six days. Is it because the results didn't fit into their agenda? Not sure. Greg Palast, for instance, had a list of "election irregularities" up on his website the day of the election, but now it's gone and he's only posted two additional things about Rumsfeld and a Palast fund raiser.

Amy Goodman on Democracy Now! has been very silent about this issue as well. It seems to me they got what they wanted (a democratic takeover of the house and senate) so there's no point in looking into election fraud because obviously there wasn't any since the dems won.

Pretty wierd.

Sunday Funkday

Non-genetic relations are gone. Yesterday was destroyed. Drag 'em here, drag 'em there. Pass the time. Blah, blah, blah. Lot's a hot air.

The house is much more empty now. More cool air for me.

Friday Phumpday

No work = more work

Non-genetic relations are here this weekend, so a scramble to present a pitiful perception of cleanliness and order. Anyone with any intelligence whatsoever can see right through it.

But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I live in crap -- figuratively and literally. Discusting.

The sky is incredibly beautiful today. So is the dirt. So is everything else I'm not able to mess up.

Thursday is the Day Today

Of course, this is arbitrary just like all the other days of the week, names and numbers of the month, the year, etc. In any case, remember to put a big red 'X' on today's date before you go do beddie-bie tonight.

The stupidity and absurdity of life is beginning to catch up with me. But the target is fuzzy (at best) and it's difficult or impossible to accurately aim at a fuzzy target.

I don' wanna.

I don' care.

My two most frequent and loudest mantras.

Pitiful and discusting. Change is in the air. It smells like popcorn.

It's Now Wednesday

Wednesday. Whoopie.

Rumsfeld is gone, to be replaced with just another creepy idiot out of the same bag.

It will never not be a mess.

It's Tuesday so I Won't Vote

Democracy is ridiculous. The result is least common denominator. "Hot dogs and beans for all!!!" because that's the only thing a democratic decision can come up with. How boring and how idiotic. The institutions that really run this country understand this, which is why it's ridiculous for such entities to vote. They don't need to because they get what they want in much easier ways.

Keeping the rabble distracted by voting and making it sound like "it counts" is epic.

How They Stole The Mid-term Election

Voting should be "the end" rather than "the beginning" or "the only". In a capitalistic society, there are much better ways to vote -- and we do several times a day which results in digging our collective grave a little deeper and a little faster. If we only understood how much power we actually have and what a thin thread we dangle from. But only a few hundred or maybe a few thousand people in this country understand this, and they either try to take advantage of it or they choose to evade.

The sooner the grave is dug and the USA is buried, the better. It's just a matter of time. The USA will wither away slowly and desperately, but it will be gone fairly soon. To be replaced with what?

Hopefully we can then worry about more important things.

Monday

Today is Monday. An arbitrary designation.